Mommy, Why Does Father Stay Up So Late...? And The True Meaning Of Friendship

Yes, I got it! I finally got my Nintendo Wii. And it was real easy too. In fact, I really didn’t do anything (except breathe) unlike a few weeks ago, you know, waiting in line at 5am at the local Best Buy with all of those weird people who would have killed me with their laser eyes if one happen to fall into my arms out of the sky, by migrating birds.

How did this miracle happen? Let me educate: I was sitting on my crazy dentists’ chair (on the 8th teeth impression redo) and a friend calls me on the cell -- so while she was laughing, running around with the saliva foam on her head, I answered the phone:


Friend Frank: Wha-chou doing?

(dentist in BG: ”put the chick-en, in da’ pot…”)

Me: Nothing much, sitting in a Dentist chair. My Dentist is getting us some beers…

Friend Frank: That’s cool. So you still looking for a Wii? Because -- Targets got 'em, BEE-YOTCH! You want one?

(dentist in BG: ” …having teeth is good…mine are made of wood…blah, blah, blah..”)

Me: Whatchoou-talkin'bout willis?! Hell Yeah!!

“Best Friend” Frank: O.K. – I’ll pick up it and bring it to work.

Me: Dude, I owe you ‘big time’! When I have another kid, you can have it…


And then I come to work and it’s there - glowing. After I closed my eyes, smelled and licked the box, I felt cold or flu-like symptoms coming on. But being the responsible grown man that I am, I waited until I got home and stayed up until 1am playing it while the wife and daughter slept. Because that’s what married fathers in there thirties do, right?

Being Up At 5:30 A.M. Isn’t What It Use To Be

Boy, there sure is nothing quite like waiting in a line, in 32-degree weather waiting for a Nintendo Wii at the local Best Buy that makes you feel like a parent at Christmas. I stood out there wondering – is this what it’s going to be like when my daughter wants some “hot” hard-to-find toy in the future?
I was about 73rd in line and down in front were parents who were camped out in tents (yes, tents and stoves) since 4pm yesterday. We all heard that this place was getting a HUGE shipment this morning, the last before Christmas.

I was chatting it up with the other parents around me for a while; each was trying to convince the other why they should get one before the other. I swear it could have been its own reality show—it went something like this:

Dad ‘Shady Looking’: (looked like he closed the bar a few minutes ago) "If I don’t get my son one of these, he won’t talk to me for another 3 years - he’s 8." (eyes shift around)

Mom in Puffy Christmas Sweater and Snowman Scarf: "It’s this or laptop for my kid. This is my 8th time waiting before the store opens. If I don’t get one before Christmas, I’ll kill." (she stares at ME)

Mom Heavy Smoker With Deep Voice: "I work all the time, if I get this then my kids will stop bothering me." (takes another puff)

Mom Who Looks Like She’s 11: "My son wants this so he can make friends (puts her head down) he doesn’t have any."

Grandfather Short Pudgy: "This is for my straight-A grandkids…if these S.O.B.’s don’t open that door; I’m going to kick all of their asses! " (fist in the air, then looks at ME)

Mom With 1 Gallon Steel Coffee Mug: "This is for my 5 boys; I can only afford one gift. I was down at the Target, they have 2 policemen, one was my 2nd ex-husband…so I came here. (smells coffee) Did I mention I have health problems?"

Dad With Glowing Bluetooth Headset: "I’ve got my wife at Walmart, Grandma at Costco, older son at Circuit City, if we don’t get one - I’m mailing bombs to Nintendo..." (yells into headset "GO!, GO!, GO!)

Dad Who Didn’t Move Or Acknowledge Anybody During Entire Time: (talks without moving) ..."I wonder if the police are going to show up this time. Because if they don’t (unintelligible)….." (then looks at ME)

(heads turn, all eyes on me)

Me: This is for me. (thumbs up!)


In case you’re wondering, none of use ended up getting one -the store only had 24. Once they yelled out the news I ran to the car and locked the doors (I wasn't sticking around.) And if my daughter wants something that's hard to find in the future, I'm wrapping cash in a box.

Thanksgiving Is Over, "Black Friday" And Lionel Richie

Now I know why they call it “Black Friday”, because when you wake up early and find 200 other people who were waiting earlier than you, and the store doesn’t even have what you’re all looking for –you feel like a complete idiot.
So this morning I searched for a Nintendo Wii and they didn’t have it anywhere. My entire life, I’ve never jumped onto this mad rush bandwagon and after today’s experience, I’m never doing this again. I’m waiting until after-Christmas and just putting an I.O.U. (to myself) under the tree. But all was not lost - I did find a great deal on a VHS to DVD recorder for $99 (which is a steal!) We have what seems like millions of movies on video tapes and nearly every Disney Animated movie on VHS and there’s no way I’m paying $18-25 each to replace them with DVD’s.

How was your Thanksgiving? Good I hope. Mine – well, we drove out to my uncles’ house in far out Riverside and it took over 2 hours to get there. The food was excellent, it was really nice to see some of the family, and my daughter loved exploring my uncles’ house with her cousins. Although, we’re hoping to have dinner somewhere else next year, because Riverside isn’t close...and it’s a scary place. We saw some rowdy kids throwing bottles at cars near the freeway off-ramp. I guess that’s how they say “Happy Thanksgiving” in Riverside.

Tonight I’m taking the wife to dinner and to see the Lionel Richie concert for her birthday. I hope he sings “All Night Long” because for some reason, that song is stuck in my head. I’m just walking around yelling, “Damn you Lionel Richie, get outta my head!!”