Who is This Kid That Calls Me Father?

Preparing for the First Day of Kindergarten

My daughter started her first day of kindergarten today. I was expecting crying, maybe some anxiety, and maybe even some nervousness. But alas, none of it. Instead my daughter woke up, dressed up in her laid-out-last-night school uniform, grabbed her prepared-the-previous-night lunch and said to me: “Let’s pretend I’m 18 and moving away to college, OK?!”

Let’s not. Apparently our recent college-bound babysitter has helped shaped her thinking just a little and now she can’t wait to move out of the house.

While driving up to the school a few kids were dealing with some major separation anxiety - holding onto their parents for dear life and such. Mine on the other hand asked if we could open the door and drop her off “right here.”

I don’t get it. Where's the tears? I'm expecting tears!!!

Yesterday the school had a kindergarten picnic allowing the kids to get to know each other with ice cream, a playground and…(wait for it…)... Kentucky Fried Chicken! Can I just say how much I love this school my daughter is going to? I didn’t even have to request it, it just happened on its own. It’s like a message from heaven or something saying, “Tony, you chose well. Now sit back and enjoy your popcorn chicken.” It almost makes me forget how much we're paying in tuition.

Well, not really.

Anyhow some pointers from me and maybe the school on making the day easier. We used some of them and I thought I’d share them for those who are interested:


How to Prepare Your Child for the First Day of Kindergarten

• Talk about kindergarten casually during the summer. Try borrowing a book from the library to help reinforce the big day, or better yet rent "Kindergarten Cop." Just fast-forward over the parts where that one weird kid uses the word "vagina" and "penis."
  
• If your child wasn’t in preschool, try leaving them with a friend or relative for a few hours while you go out for sushi to help with the possible separation anxiety. If the child is upset that you went out to eat without him/her, just say "you don't like sushi anyway."
  
• Attend the school’s social “meet and greet” or similar activity before the start of kindergarten. They’ll get a chance to meet new friends before school starts and hopefully the school will provide Kentucky Fried Chicken. If not, protest to the school board until they make it happen.
  
• Say goodbye quick and then leave. Don’t draw it out too long, get all emotional and cry. If your mascara runs down your face the other kids might think you're a vampire.
  

And most importantly...!

• Teach them how to wash their hands correctly after using the bathroom. Use this coloring page to help emphasize the importance.

Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease hurts!
Wash your hand after using the potty.

I'm just hoping she doesn't bring home any diseases. Because that would mean this coloring page didn't work.

Those Kids Entering College

Our babysitter of the last 5 years is going off to college this week. It’s strange because in some odd way it feels as if my own kid is going off to school; we’ve known her and her family for years.

My daughter was pretty upset about it for a few weeks but finally moved into the “acceptance” phase when she created some artwork for our college-bound sitter this past weekend for her to display in her new dorm room.
I wished I had taken a picture of it, as I do with most of her artwork, but it’s basically a picture of a dolphin with an ice cream cone waving with its friends saying, “See you at Thanksgiving!” And they’re all wearing pink pilgrim hats and necklaces.
The dolphin is supposed to be a self-portrait as my daughter is still planning on becoming a dolphin when she grows up. In fact, when I ask her what college has a dolphin major she just answers matter-of-factually with, “(duh!) Any college in Hawaii.”

At our sitters going away to college party with a few of her friends and family, the adults started talking about how strange it is that these kids were all born in 1992, which is a bit disturbing because that doesn’t seem that long ago at all.
In fact, I still have perfectly usable clothes in my closet that are from circa 1992. My wife might find the term “usable” debatable, but I beg to differ.

This time of year I always find that the annual Beliot Mindset list highly informative. Basically that’s the yearly list reminding adults how young these kids actually are and how old we have gotten in such a short amount of time. Here are some interesting tidbits from it, with of course some of my own commentary added here and there.

A Few Interesting Facts About the Class of 2014

1. Korean made Hyundai cars actually work now as opposed to being broken down on the side of the road. I still wouldn’t buy one as I use to own a 1989 Excel that loved to break down.
   
2. Yugo? What’s that?
3. They’ve never written in cursive. I just tried now and still remember. Now I trying to think when they last time I've actually used it...
   
4. Email is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.
   
5. They use cell phones to tell them the time, no need for a wristwatch.
6. They have never worried about a Russian missile strike on the U.S.
7. Kurt Cobain is now on the classic oldies station.
   
8. Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.
9. They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.
10. Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.
11. Their parents’ favorite TV sitcoms have always been showing up as horrible movies. The only exemption: the Brady Bunch movie.

Some Sourced from Beloit College Mindset List

What other things can you think of?

5 Years of Creative-Type Dad!

It’s been 5 years since this blog was created. As I write this everything around me is reminiscent of those first days: I’m up late at night right as my now nearly 3-month-old son won’t fall asleep and wondering if he’ll ever understand that nighttime is for sleeping. I’ve seen some pretty scary diapers tonight that would make any grown-man cry and I’m now beginning to wonder if he’s been sneaking in chilidogs and beers between breast feedings.
Unlike those earlier days, this time around I do feel a little wiser, confidant, and more experienced with some idea of the road ahead.

When I began this blog it was filled with random thoughts of things I ran into on the Internet, but it quickly evolved as my now 5-year-old daughter began to grow. Then it turned into tidbits of my excursion through parenthood. Now that my daughter is starting to read and seems to be picking it up pretty quick, I’m now faced with that question that other fellow parent bloggers have contemplated over the years, “how long do I keep this up?”

I don’t know.

Since Twitter and Facebook updates seem to have now taken over with their quirky sometimes-impersonal one-liners blogs overall seem to be on a downward trend. I’ve considered moving this blog to those formats but overwhelming still prefer my anonymous presence on those things instead. I do enjoy Facebook games; I don’t enjoy the drama of old acquaintances contacting me, knowing about the personal lives of co-workers and family, and especially using broad “status updates” instead of one-on-one interactions as a legitimate replacement for building friendships.
I still have a feeling Twitter and Facebook will lose their novelty within another few years and something else will eventually replace them.
I know things aren’t the same as they once were when I started or even two years ago, but I do feel an obligation to write something about my son’s journey as I did my daughters. If anything, a blog is still a good way to journal those experiences.

Some favorite posts throughout the years:

• An Open Letter To The Great Creator Of Chicken In A Bucket - Colonel Sanders

• Men Are From Mars, In-Laws Are From Uranus

• Kid Birthday Parties at Chuck E Cheese's: Sit Down! Shut Up! Eat and Leave!
  

• Mommy, Why Does Father Stay Up So Late...? And The True Meaning Of Friendship

• Parents that wait in line for hard-to-find Christmas gifts

• Get me a beer, I'm feeling pretty manly after changin' the oil

• It's NOT a facial - It's a MEN's facial!!

• Help! I Think They May Take Away My Man Card

• Potty Training Idea #87: Coloring Pages That Use "The Power Of The Mind."

• An Open Letter To The Wife Regarding Father’s Day

• The Easter Bunny Must Be Living Large In Beverly Hills

• Are You There God? It’s Me Tony…What’s Happening To Me!?

• Exterminator Wanted! Apparently My House Is Infested With Monsters

• Mother’s Day Coloring Pages That You Won’t Find Anywhere Else

• I'm Preparing For My Daughter’s Kindergarten Interview. Because Kindergarten Is Serious Business

• Teaching Good Habits - with MY Coloring Pages

Stop Growing Up!

(It's that time of year! My annual letter to my daughter on her birthday...)

Happy 5th birthday Miss Bean! Or as you call yourself, “Sunshine Sparkles!” followed with hands in the air.
Where has the time gone? How can you be 5 already when it seems as if you were just born a year or two ago?


Just a few things you did this past year that I’m going to remember forever:

• Telling your preschool friends and random strangers that I got into a fight with a chicken, that’s how I got chicken pox.
• Announcing to the crowd at preschool graduation that you don’t want to be a ballerina when you grow up because you want to be a dolphin instead.
• Your imaginary sisters Sauna and Nana now live at Disney World and we MUST go visit them every weekend because it's their birthday again.
• On the way home from preschool telling me you got married to Marcus at school because he can breakdance. And then me explaining for an hour why you can’t date until your married.
• Learning about Baseball at preschool and then begging to go to a game really bad. When we had gone you said, “Daddy, this is really boring, why don’t they do anything!” Yes, you are truly my daughter.

Your favorite things at this moment:

• Everything about your baby brother, especially his farts which seems to go on forever.
• Going to the movie theater to watch 3D movies and then half-way through asking me to put in a different DVD.
  
• Tea Parties with your stuffed animals in your restaurant and then asking some animals to leave for misbehaving or bad manners.
• Excitement over starting Kindergarten in the Fall and meeting “even more” friends.
• Making up all sorts of crafts and art projects, and making up your own songs and lyrics.
• Ballet dancing to Disco. Preferably to the Bee-Gee’s.
• Playing Wii together and actually getting good at it.
• Eating at restaurants, especially Souplantation (still!)
• Swimming and spending a lot of time at the pool this summer. I suspect this is training to be a dolphin.
  

On the morning of your birthday I’m always going to remember the first thing you said to your mother and I while running into our room “when I was sleeping, I felt my body growing so I can be 5-years old!”
I’m going to miss the fun we had together at 4, but I’m looking forward to what new memories we’ll make together when your 5.

Love,
Daddy

Should Parents Vaccinate? Yes!

These last two weeks have been quite an emotional roller-coaster.

Not only did I not get to see my kids for nearly two weeks, and endure endless pain of burning boils all over my body including in my nose, ears, mouth and throat during the infection, but one major outcome of the Chicken Pox caused me to lose nearly 80% of my hearing.

Those days had to be the most frightening experience in my life. Losing the ability to hear is something I hope nobody ever has to encounter.

Thankfully with a persistent doctor, some (painful) treatments, and medication I was able to finally get most of it back just a few days ago. The only problems remaining are some equilibrium issues, irritation of the ears, and some liver issues, which I’m now told should likely mend in a few weeks.

And I still have some weird red spots on my face that make me look a little “zombie-like” that aren’t fading as fast as I’d like, but I’m not bothered about that as much as I’m extremely thankful to not have burning boils (adult pox burn, they don’t itch) and have gotten most of my hearing back.

So a reminder for those who have never had Chicken Pox, please go get the varicella vaccine. As an adult gets older Chicken Pox can cause a whole host of complications including hearing loss, respiratory problems, bacterial skin rash, internal organ problems, inflammation of the brain, and even death. In pregnant women it can cause some serious birth defects.

I’ve spent a lot of time talking to my doctor, an ID (infectious disease) specialist, and the doctors at the ER and I’m completely convinced vaccinations are a necessary bit for preventing life-threatening diseases. In fact, I just recently received some re-vaccinations and boosters after getting some blood work done to determine which ones I needed, as like most people, I haven’t had anything since I was a young kid nearly 30 years ago. Some vaccinations need to be updated every 10-20 years.

I finally returned to work 3 days ago after being out for over 3 weeks, with some red spots remaining, and got into a heated argument with a woman who just refuses to vaccinate her children – 4 and 7 – because she thinks they cause autism even though study, after study, after study, disproves that, but yet there are parents like her out there that continue to believe that.

I told her that I felt sorry for her kids.

One fact that the ID specialist said to me that stuck in my head was that in 1900 the average age of death in the U.S. was 47 and 30% of infants died before reaching their 1st birthday (ref). Imagine having a baby and knowing there's a 30% chance that he/she may die within the first year? And did you know a lot of people didn't even name their child until after their first year? (ref.) Frightening stuff.
Control of infectious diseases is a huge achievement and shouldn’t be taken for granted.

A Bittersweet Father's Day

I’m back. Did I miss anything? You're sure not going to believe what I’ve been through especially in the last week and a half…

First of all, Happy Father’s Day to all of the Dad’s that do make a difference in their kids lives. Father’s are more important than ever these days and make a huge impact on children’s well-being, abilities, achievements, social behavior, and character among others. Don’t believe me? Check this out.

I’ve been fortunate and blessed to have a few men in my own life. Shining examples of Fatherhood that made a huge impact on me countless times, some still, and have now shaped the way I Father my own kids. My Dad, grandfather Marci, best-friend Steve’s Dad Kurt, best-friend Mike’s Dad Joe, and longtime childhood friend Sharm’s Dad Moy – from me a whole-hearted “Happy Father’s Dad” and “Thank You!” These guys deserve more than a medal and the last few deserve grandkids, as they’ll make amazing grandfathers.

Now the tough part…

A warning before moving on: I’m going to get a little detailed here for those looking for information on this disease as it may help others.

Over a week ago I was in Denver for work and discovered something strange on my scalp the morning I left; a few large bumps that hurt when touched. When I got home that night I felt nauseous and went straight to bed around 5pm. The next day I woke up feeling nauseous, like a hangover, and my wife discovered weird boils on my forehead and behind my ears. Later that night a few boils started showing up on my chest and I lost my appetite. That night I couldn’t sleep and moved into the spare room as our newborn is sleeping in a bassinet near our bed.
It was really hard sleeping that night feeling nausea, feverish, and irritated. When I woke up around 3am my face had swollen and more boils had appeared on my face, chest, and neck – around 20-30 maybe.
The next morning I was the first at the urgent care and 3 doctors had to evaluate me, as they could not figure out what it was. I was prescribed some antibiotics, cultured, and blood was taken. Later that day I got even worse, I couldn’t stand up in which I got a callback from a nearly 30 year practicing infectious disease specialist that saw me and diagnosed me with Chicken Pox, something he hadn’t seen in an adult in a few years.
So that next morning, my head literally felt like it was on fire. I lost most of my hearing in both ears, my fever was 103, and I won’t even go into detail about the number and size of boils on my face, scalp, neck, chest, arms, legs, and ears. Things got better at the ER. They were able to get the fever down, I wasn’t feeling as nauseous, and the Vicodin greatly helped with the extreme pain.
To my doctor’s credit, when I returned home, he called nearly every 5-6 hours checking up on me. He even contacted my kids’ pediatrician at diagnosis and was rightly concerned about having a 3-week old newborn that can’t be vaccinated with this vaccine until he’s at least 10-weeks old. My wife had been vaccinated while in college and is breast-feeding, which evidently sustains the baby. We’ll find out and I’ve been away from him in isolation and they’re monitoring him nearly daily just to be sure. That’s the part that’s keeping me up at night these days. We won’t know if he has it until another 2 weeks or so.

A thing about Chicken Pox, it can be fatal for adults and is now rare because of a vaccine that was developed back in 1995. Problem is I was getting out of college in 95 and every single doctor I’ve seen in the last 15 years never asked “Have you had Chicken Pox?” The ER doctors told me that it’s assumed that if you’re over 32 years old (I’m older) that you have had the mild form of childhood Chicken Pox.
If you’re reading this and have never had Chicken Pox, I’m begging you PLEASE go get the varicella vaccine.

The toughest part about this whole experience is knowing that it was completely avoidable and now I’m hoping more than ever that my newborn doesn’t get it. Especially with all he’s been through already.

An Incredible Day Followed by Some of the Worst of My Life

My baby boy is here! He was born last Wednesday at a whopping 10 pounds and 3 ounces, for my international readers I think that translates to about 4.6 million kilograms.

Thankfully there was no bumping of anybody’s head. Through a strange series of events, my daughter brought home a mean stomach bug virus from preschool, which then passed to my wife and then me. Well, that stomach bug got the party started and induced my wife into labor that morning.
So for those full-term pregnant looking for some advice on how to induce labor, go hang out at a preschool.

I was actually surprised at how much faster the whole second experience took place. Labor was about 7 hours and the real “active” labor was less than two hours.
A woman we ran into today told us “That’s FAST! I was in labor for 7 days and 98 hours.” Somehow I didn’t believe her because she was pushing a dog in a stroller. People that push animal’s in strollers need serious help.

One very important fact I have to mention about the birth center we chose – it’s 1 block away from a KFC. YES! Can you believe it? Talk about convenience.

When my wife was in labor (regular, not “active”) we walked down there to get some popcorn chicken for lunch. I initially ordered one box, but then I told the woman that my wife was in labor right now so we’ll take two boxes. At first she didn’t believe me and then she looked at my wife breathing heavily, holding her back, etc.
While we were waiting I told my wife jokingly “Hey! Wouldn’t it be funny if you had the baby right now… in the KFC!”

She didn’t think that was funny. I think it was because she was in labor.

I won’t go into details about the actual birth except that we had him at a birthing center, not a hospital, with two midwives and a doula. He was initially going to be born in a tub, just like our daughter was, but because of his size he was delivered on some crazy thing called a birthing stool. I’m not even going to describe this thing, just use your imagination about how women gave birth maybe pre-1800’s. I would have much preferred the tub because birth is really messy business.
My bit of advice for those choosing a midwife or home birth – have the baby in the tub or bring some extra clothes.

Something I have to mention before moving on here about the whole events and something only parents that have gone through the experience will fully understand:
There’s nothing in this world that comes even close to meeting your child for the very first time. Feeling the bumps, the kicks, and talking to this mysterious little creature that grows in just 40 short weeks into a full-fledge baby is just something that is truly remarkable. The first time my son, and daughter nearly 5 years ago, looked back at me with their eyes and examined my face are some of moments that I’ll always remember.

So imagine my reaction 4 days later when his pediatrician told us that we needed to immediately rush our newborn son to the pediatric hospital because something call bilirubin had nearly doubled in his body in 12 hours. When we arrived they were waiting for us and put him in one of these hooked up in it for the next 3 days--


What even worse was staring at him in there while the doctor was telling us all kinds of information about it. I zoned out the entire time. The paperwork in our hands said something about a blood transfusion if they couldn’t stop it.

We didn’t tell most about what was going on, only a few close friends and family that had happen to call at the time by coincidence. But those who did helped us considerably during what had to be the worse days of our lives. To them we’ll always be forever grateful.

Thankfully he was finally able to come home this week. His numbers improved considerably and we had a little celebration with our daughter, unfortunately with no KFC present. We go in once again tomorrow for what we’re hoping to be his clean bill of health and then we can go on with our lives watching him grow.

Inducing Labor. Because 40 Weeks is a Long, Long Time.

My wife is now 39 weeks pregnant and we’re told she’s ready to deliver at any time.

I forgot how stressful this “final stretch” was last time around nearly 5 years ago with our daughter.
Not being able to leave my wife for long or sleep at night as every move, ache, or whatever move she makes has me jumping up like an earthquake just struck. The uneasy feeling I get when she uses the bathroom for more than 3 minutes (“Is she having the baby in the bathroom; I think that can happen?”)
The stories I hear from random women at the gym or work that say things like, “I have this friend who went into labor and delivered a baby all within 5 minutes!”
And to top it all off, my 4-year old asked me today “Daddy, how is my baby brother getting out of mommy’s belly?” To which I answered matter-of-factly “Why, the birth canal, silly kid!” (ruffled her hair) followed by an uncomfortable laugh and then changed the subject quickly by asking her if she wanted ice cream.

We’ve had lots of ice cream this weekend.

Of course our midwife has given us a list of things that help induce labor naturally like: eating spicy food, go for a long walk, use primrose oil, stimulate the “nickels”, and having sex. All sound like a pretty good date night, doesn’t it?

Except the part knowing that there’s your baby’s head right down there!!

Tomorrow we’re going to a restaurant out here in L.A. (Caioti Pizza Café) that’s famous for having a special salad that makes women into labor. We tried it first time around years ago and it didn’t work. But we did get to write a funny letter in one of their pregnancy journals – something of a tradition they have there. We’re going to look at what we wrote years ago, write something again, and then try out the “The Salad” one more time.

In the journal maybe I’ll write something like, “your big sister had lots of ice cream this weekend and if this salad doesn't work I’m REALLY sorry if I bumped your head.”

Last Minute Mother’s Day Ideas!

I asked my daughter what she wanted do for my wife this year for Mother’s Day and she immediately answered with:

“Go shopping to buy me an Ariel dress! And maybe mommy can get one too.”

We did something a little different this year; she’s been practicing her “Pegasus unicorn running into a rainbow” art for a few weeks, maybe months, now so I had one of the better ones put on a shirt from this place (poloppo.com)

It's pretty awesome. (What’s even more awesome is a discount code “dads25”.)
When we got it in the mail my daughter instantly requested one for herself and her friends at school as they've starting a Pegasus Unicorn Team now - it's an alternative to the Dragon Team the boys at school have started.

We’ve also been contemplating what else my daughter wants to make for Mother's Day. Maybe some cool and funny Mother’s Day themed snack from a recipe off this site (link), or one of these interesting cards (link.) I’m sure we’ll come up with something once I suspiciously tell my wife to go get a pedicure or go on a trip to the nearby KFC on Saturday so we can make anything.

We'll see...

But for those looking for a last-minute idea on what to get your wife or mom on Sunday AND really impress her, there’s always my famous flower bunch toting Lionel Richie printable with complementary Lionel Richie paper craft sculpture:

"You're once, Twice, Three Times A Lady. Happy Mother's Day!"

Lionel Richie Paper craft toy

Because really, nothing says Happy Mother’s Day quite like “You’re Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady” from Lionel.